Boy, do I get comments – anytime I blog about ill-behaved children on planes. Often these comments begin with the words, “I’d rather sit next to a dog…”
That’s cold.
But, face it, screaming kids can be incredibly annoying – so much so that Southwest recently ejected a mother and child from a plane because the child would not stop yelling (however, the airline later apologized and gave them a voucher).
What can you do? Unfortunately, not all that much if you’re a fellow passenger – but, if you’re the parent, that’s another story.
Keep reading for some tips that may help…
How to Stop Kids from Screaming on Planes
1. Babies Onboard: Here’s a chilling thought from the staff at MayoClinic.com – “Sometimes babies simply need to cry.” On the other hand, sometimes there’s a reason for their cries; you just need to recognize it and deal with it.
What you can do:
- Practice CBFN (pronounced cab-fan): This handy little mnemonic stands for Change, Burp, Feed, Nap. Try them all – chances are, one (or more) will stop the tears. Pretty basic, yes, but sometimes it’s hard to think with all that howling going on.
- Ear pressure pain can occur especially during take-offs and landings; try feeding your baby, but if she/he won’t eat, try a pacifier.
- Colic in babies is that intense crying that you can’t seem to stop; the good news is, these crying jags often take place about the same time each day so you might be able to “fly around” the worst of it (but if it was my child, I think we’d just stay home).
- If you have any doubts, see your pediatrician before flying; if your little one has even the vestiges of an ear infection, pain relief drops may be called for – or consider sitting this flight out.
2. Know your toddler: Is your kid a screamer? The mother in the Southwest incident admitted as much when she told airline personnel that her son’s onboard meltdown “was worse than a normal fit for him.”
What you can do:
- Prepare toddlers (and even older kids) by sharing some details about your upcoming trip; show the child some pictures of airplane interiors and explain what will happen onboard and how you expect him/her to behave.
- Never underestimate the power of a bribe. Toys, candy and videos are worth lugging along; this is no time to act like the stern, spartan parent – give ‘em what they want
- Fly early in the day; nothing sends a child into tantrums like fatigue – the tired child is the noisy child. If you can’t fly early, bring the child’s pillow and bedtime toy, to ease into naptime
3. Watch the “overparenting”: have you read the article on this subject in New Yorker magazine? Writer Joan Acocella talked about attending a dinner party where an overparented child was present, pestering the adults until finally sent to the kitchen for his meal. At that point, wrote Ms. Acocella, “The house shakes with his screams.” She continued:
“You…find yourself exhausted, and you make for the door, swearing never to have kids or, if you already did, never to visit your grandchildren. You’ll just send checks.” -Joan Acocella, New Yorker
What you can do:
- Okay, this one has me stumped.
Bottom line: Should your child be traveling? Only you know the answer to that one. And parents, don’t beat yourselves up too much; we all know that even the most angelic child has devilish moments. Most of us have been there – and, sympathize.
You know what I think angers your fellow passengers most? When children are misbehaving, and their mothers and fathers completely ignore the situation. My advice: Be a parent – it’s your job.
And parents, do not ever think that flights attendants are baby sitters and are included in your fare as such!
We went from SF to Ny, to Rome and the same screming kid was on the whole flight. The parents had the child strapped into a car seat and then seat belts. Of course the parents did nothing but take care of themselves. People with badly behaving children, are the ones who never do anything but just relax and let them scream. Seems a shame that the airline can’t charge them a tax for badly managed children and share it in the form of free drinks for the rest of the passengers. People understand “extra Cost” very well and rfespond with an effort to avoid it.
Helga, you are correct that flight attendants are NOT baby sitters; they have far more important things they must be doing.
Jack, your trip sounds nightmarish: nobody should let a child scream like that. As I said in the final part of my commentary: “Be a parent. It’s your job.”
Thanks to you both for writing.
Rick
Why cant they just designate certain rows for parents with younger children ? I don’t get it it is such a simple solution… OK sure the noise will carry but having a toddler kicking the back of my seat and pulling my hair will no longer be an issue, Plus I do not have to look at the parents who infuriate me much more than the children ever could. I understand children get board and cranky but I take it very personal when a child kicks, pulls my hair and screams while the parents do and say nothing.
I travel for business about 60-75% of my life and have seen tons of kids on flights. I fly in and out of John Wayne Airport a.k.a. “Airport Disney”. As a father of 5 young children (yes, my wife is a saint), typically what I have noticed is the parents make the kids nervous more often than not. While there are some that just let there kids run free, they seem to be the minority. It is the super-nervous single mom that seems to have super panicky kids that scream and cry. I have taken to just taking a few minutes, telling the mom to relax and play with the kid for a few minutes. Give a little assistance – I once reminded the mom that her child’s ears probably hurt when he started crying on landing – “give him something to suck on”. She didn’t even know. My favorite was when I taught the toddler to stick his tongue out – of course this resulted in a pool of slobber all over the ignoring grandma’s shoulder
. For most of these parents the time on the plane is exhausting, nerve-wracking, and just plain feared. They don’t want to be there with a screaming child anymore than anyone else. If you get a chance, try and help, show some compassion, feel free to smile at the parent or the child – it might be the only one they see all day! Finally remember – you too were once a child, and probably threw a tantrum at some point and it might have even been in public some place – and your mom struggled with what to do also
Steve M,
You sound like the kind of passenger anyone would want to sit near, whether they’re flying with kids or not. Talk about being “the voice of compassion”. Don’t ever change!
And thanks for writing.
Rick