CNN talk show host Larry King supposedly hasn’t flown commercial in a decade – opting for private jets instead – but for some reason, he flew commercial earlier this week to D.C. to host a charity event, and – seemed somewhat shocked at the changes in security.

With apologies to Mr. King, we decided to turn the incident into a “Larry King Live” conversation as imagined by my editor, with an asterisk (*) denoting King’s actual comments, as reported by the Washington Examiner.

Larry King: “Artie in Peoria, hello!”

Artie: “Hi, Larry. Heard you had quite the time with security at the airport. You okay?”

King: “I don’t know, my friend. They made me take off my shoes. Unbelievable.” [King was reported to be "miffed" about this]

Artie: “Well, there was this guy…”

King: “And another thing – I set off an alarm.”

Artie: “Your suspenders, maybe?”

King: “So when you fail the test, which is what I did, I failed the security test, they had to give me the complete body search.”*

Artie: “Been there.”

King: “So I had to stand there with arms [out] and they are talking with me at the same time, ‘loved the show last night, turn over your belt,’ and then they grab you by the privates.”*

Artie: “Ouch.”

King: “They examined me pretty good.”*

*Statements by King as reported in the Washington Examiner.