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Seven Things You Should Never Say in an Airport

January 13, 2010 | Posted in: ABC Column,Security | 0 comments

Earlier this year, I did a post on the “Eight Things You Should Never Say on an Airplane” and many of you liked it so I decided to do something similar for my latest weekly column for ABCNews.com.

I call it,”Seven Things You Should Never Say in an Airport”. It’s a mix of serious and (I hope) humorous comments, slanted toward our current security problems.

Comments include (and this is directly from the column):

“I am God” – That’s what a TSA officer said in a terminal at Los Angeles International Airport, according to a local news report that also noted that the officer in question was “behaving erratically.” We’re told the agent was arrested.

Note: It’s always a good policy for security folks and passengers to refrain from publicly claiming kinship with any deity, Napoleon, Lady Gaga or similar, because chances are you will at least undergo questioning. On the bright side, you may get a free drug test.

If you liked that, I’ll bet you like some of the other comments – and explanations – which include, “Is that Gilligan’s Island down there?”, “Make mine a double, bartender” and “Is that Fruit-of-the-Loom guy on my flight?”

Oh, and be sure to watch this video starring Mr. Fruit-of-the-Loom.

2010 Air Travel Predictions: Good News and Bad News

January 6, 2010 | Posted in: ABC Column,Forecast,Pricing Activity | 2 comments

I’m not perfect, but I did predict 2009 would be “The Year of the Airline Ticket Sale” so at least I got that right.

Let’s see how good I am when it comes to 2010 predictions.

In my latest column for ABCNews.com, I say that airfares will be generally higher (though there will be some good sales — in fact, we’re seeing good airfare sales right now).

I also say we can expect a couple of “unusual” new airline fees: I’m going to be coy about exactly what to expect there, but possibilities include fees for carryons — and maybe fees related to cell phones. I don’t really expect cells on planes in 2010, though — we’ll have a debate first, then see them on planes in 2011.

I’ve got a few more predictions, and you can see all of them in the column. And, next January, we’ll find out how good a seer I was this year.

Best of Air Travel for 2009 or What Went Right This Year

December 23, 2009 | Posted in: ABC Column | 0 comments

Best of 2009 Air Travel
I know travelers have a lot of complaints about the airline industry, and I know a lot of those complaints are warranted. However, as the year comes to a close, I figured I would spread a little bit of holiday cheer and recap some of the good things that happened in the air travel industry this year.

We’ve seen cheap flights, Capt. Chesley ‘Sully’ Sullenberger, some bold moves by DOT leadership, and more. We’ve even seen some airline fee drops (I know you’d like to see them disappear altogether, but at least it’s something). Take a look at my ABCNews.com column The Best of Air Travel in 2009 for more highlights from the past year. Of course, I did throw some of the blunders in there, too. I just couldn’t help myself, I guess.

Screaming Kids on Planes: What Can You Do?

December 16, 2009 | Posted in: ABC Column | 2 comments


We’ve all been on a plane with a screaming baby or a toddler that just can’t seem to calm down, and as we head out for the holidays, there’s a good chance that planes will be packed with even more children who don’t seem too happy to be flying. So, what can be done?

First, give the crying baby a break. According to staff at MayoClinic.com, “Sometimes babies simply need to cry.” If you’re flying with a screaming baby or a toddler who can’t stop kicking your seat, try to stay calm and sympathetic when asking the parents if they could please stop the child from abusing the back of your seat.

If you’re a parent of an infant or a toddler, there are some things that you can do to make the flight a little easier for your child…and for the other passengers on the plane. Simple things like preparing kids to fly by explaining what the trip will be like, and flying early in the morning if possible.

My latest ABCNews.com Column, Kids Who Scream on Planes and What You Can Do provides a series of tips for both parents and other passengers who find themselves in this all too common situation. Hopefully, the tips will make your holiday travel (or any day travel) a little less stressful.

10 Tips for Grabbing the Best Airplane Seats

December 9, 2009 | Posted in: ABC Column,Airline News | 0 comments


Airplane seating has been big news over the last few weeks. A debate arose when a picture of a large man in a small airplane seat circulated, US Airways said it plans to remove middle seats on its shuttle service between NY and Boston, and speaking of middle seats, a 58-year old woman is suing Northwest Airlines because she allegedly “injured her knee trying to get settled in a middle seat.”

So, how do you avoid the potential knee injuries, the crowded rows, and all of those other little annoyances that too often accompany flying? You nab the best seat, of course. Unfortunately, the best seats are in first class (or on a private jet) and that’s not how most of us fly. However, there are still ways to land the best seats in economy, but it does take a little strategizing.

My latest ABCNews.com column highlights some of the things you can do to get the good seat and make your flight more comfortable. I include some more obvious approaches (Select your seat when you purchase, Pay for premium seating) and a few that may be less obvious (Fly the Right Plane, Wait for Elites to Upgrade).

Take a look at “Ten Strategies for Getting the Best Airplane Seats Available” on ABCNews.com for a breakdown of some of the best ways to give yourself a little more legroom when you fly.

Your Chances of Getting Bumped and Dating Supermodels

December 2, 2009 | Posted in: ABC Column,Airline News,Passengers,Sports | 0 comments

Your chances of getting bumped from an airline? I wouldn’t worry about it – the odds of that happening are about 1 in 10,040 – and that includes “voluntary” and “involuntary” bumping.

Compare that to your chances of winning the Mega Millions – 1 in 135,145,920. See? Now there are two things you don’t have to worry about.

Make that, three things you don’t have to worry about: as I wrote in my weekly column for ABCNew.com today, your odds of dating a supermodel are 1 in 178,110. Those odds do improve, however, if you live in New York or Los Angeles, you make a lot of money, and you are very handsome.

Oh, yeah – it also helps to be Tom Brady.

Holiday Travel: What’s New, Better, & Worse?

November 25, 2009 | Posted in: ABC Column | 0 comments


For a lot of people, the holiday season is their one time of year to brave the airport and get on a plane. Well, if you’ve been out of the air travel game for a while, you might notice some things that weren’t there the last time you flew. Innovations like in-flight WiFi, new security measures, and those new peak travel surcharges.

I decided to break down some of the newest industry changes and give them a rating in my latest ABC News column. I used cranberries for my rating system instead of those stars that movie critics are so fond of (I figured cranberries were better for the time of year). I had some fun with it, and I hope it will help you get caught up on what’s better, worse, and just different about air travel these days.

Read Thanksgiving Special: Air Travel Innovations for the complete story.

List of WiFi Airlines and Planes – and Prices, Too

November 23, 2009 | Posted in: ABC Column,Airline News,List | 3 comments

Sick and tired of trying to figure out which planes on which airlines have WiFi?

Problem solved. Just check out this definitive list from ABCNews.com: it names names – airlines and specific aircraft – and tells you what it costs, too.

As I reported earlier, so far only AirTran and Virgin America are completely WiFi-ed. There is a difference between them, though – some sites deemed “inappropriate” are blocked on AirTran, but you can go anywhere you want with Virgin America’s service (but please! – be respectful of your seatmates).

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