Darn. They’ve been teasing us for almost two years now, telling us about tests underway that could mean we get to keep our Jimmy Choo’s on – or your sneakers.

But it never quite happens.

And Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano threw more cold water on the idea of staying shod in the security line during an online chat with travelers Tuesday. She said current technology just isn’t good enough to allow screeners to see what might be in our shoes, while we’re wearing them.

My advice? Lace-less shoes – you know, something you can get-in-and-out-of quickly and easily.  

This happened earlier this year, but has just now come to my attention:

Ryanair was flying vacationers to the Canary Islands – well, one Canary Island in particular – when a bad storm rolled in, so the plane diverted to another island. Then – it left. Stranding all 120 passengers.

One family had to fork over almost $600 for the hotel (apparently, lodgings are pretty pricey there), plus there was the cost of the ferry to get to the correct island.

Now, it’s true that if something like this occurs due to weather, the airline is not responsible for picking up the tab under European Union rules, but other airlines that ran into similar difficulty that day managed to put up their passengers.

What really burnt the toast of so many Ryanair passengers, though, was that there were no Ryanair personnel in sight at this strange airport, so there was no one to give them any sort of guidance at all.

Ryanair insists the passengers were given some sort of information on their options, but the passengers vehemently deny this. Well, as AirlineReporter blogger David Parker Brown says, flying on Ryanair is always a gamble, and adds, “The old saying ‘you get what you pay for,’ is quite accurate with Ryanair.”

A graduate student at Rutgers pleaded guilty to “defiant trespass” yesterday, which is to say, he’s the guy who caused chaos at busy Newark Liberty Airport in January when he slipped through security to give his girlfriend one last kiss before she headed home to California.

Romeo, also known as Haisong Jang, 28 was ordered to pay a $500 fine and court costs and will have to complete 100 hours of community service.

The man will also have this on his record for five years, after which (if there are no more kissing episodes), he can get it erased.

So – did this kill the romance? Not at all. The kissing couple remain a devoted pair, though presumably they are now low-keying the PDA’s*.

*Blog-speak for “public displays of affection”

The Ides of March don’t make an appearance until next week, but there’s been plenty of weirdness already, at least in the air travel sector recently - as I noted in my latest column for ABCNews.com: “Top Five Worst Travel Stories of the Week.”

You may have read about some of these bizarre incidents (the fake pilot, the way under-age air traffic controllers), but I provide a twist to all these stories – at the end of each, you will note I added an “Upside”.

I think you’ll enjoy it – although judging by a couple of the comments left by ABC readers at the end of the column, it seems to have left some really angry. Not sure why…

I just read a fascinating “behind-the-scenes” look at the government’s “No Fly” list by Associated Press writer Eileen Sullivan (it appeared on ABCNews.com) and learned a thing or two.

Did you know that retirement from terrorism or even death, can get you off the list, but – not necessarily?

The story points out that some “inactive members of the Irish Republican Army” have been dropped, but on occasion, officials allow the name of a dead man to stay on the list, so they can catch those who might try to assume his identity, thinking that death has made it safe to do so.

And did you know, some suspected bad guys on the “No Fly” list are allowed to fly? Such a decision it seems is not made lightly – but sometimes this is done so “agents [can] shadow suspected terrorists while they’re in the U.S.” These suspects may receive extra screening, are monitored on airport cameras and may have more federal air marshals moitoring them during the flight.

 By the way, if you’re on the “No Fly” list for no good reason, go to the TSA website to fill out the form to get off.

Okay. Actress Raquel Welch’s black-satin bustier tripped the metal detector alarms at O’Hare the other day, and as a result, she had to undergo a pat-down search.

The bustier, it seems, was lined with little strips of metal.

In case you were wondering, the TSA officer who administered the pat-down was female and the Chicago Sun-Times reports that Ms. Welch reacted with good humor and patience.

“It was hilarious,” Welch’s publicist, Julie Nathanson, said today. “Every alarm in the hemisphere went off.” – Chicago Sun-Times, 3-9-10

The actress was in Chicago for an appearance on Oprah Winfrey’s show, where she publicized her new book titled, “Raquel: Beyond the Cleavage.” Okay.

This is interesting: a little earlier today, I told you that JetBlue and Delta were asking for an exemption to the new “no delays longer than 3-hours” rule that’s due to go into effect next month.

As it stands, the rule says violators will be fined $27,500 – and that’s per passenger.

Continental, however, is taking a different approach – but CEO Jeff Smisek says his airline won’t be risking those fines, either:

“Here’s what we’re going to do: We’re going to cancel the flight.” – Continental’s Jeff Smisek, 3-9-10

The Department of Transportation’s response?

“Carriers have it within their power to schedule their flights more realistically, to have spare aircraft and crews available to avoid cancellations.” – DOT’s Bill Mosely, 3-9-10

Oh, it’s on – it is on.

As you may have heard, low cost carrier Allegiant Air is buying six Boeing 757s and will use them for flights to Hawaii.

Allegiant execs say they’ll spend as much as $90 million refurbishing these planes, and expect to have two of them ready to go by the end of this year.

Jeff over at BeatofHawaii predicts this will be a game-changer for island visitors:

“I believe Allegiant can offer better value in Hawaii deals than any competitor.  That will in turn raise the bar, which should result in improved overall value in Hawaii vacations across the board.” –BeatofHawaii, 3-8-10

What more can you add, really? Except, something to look forward to…

The Bureau of Transportation Statistics (BTS) has released its latest figures which cover January 2010, and things are looking pretty good for the airlines.

On-Time: in January, the airlines reported an overall on-time arrival rate of nearly 79%, which was better than December’s dismal 72%, and better than January of 2009.

Bags:  the “mishandled baggage” rate for January was 4.62 reports per 1,000 passengers which was a big improvement over the month before and the year before (which saw rates well above 5 reports per 1,000).

Pets: not great, but not bad – one death, one injury.

Most Delayed Flight: If you’re going to be traveling on Hawaiian Airlines’ Flight 9 from Los Angeles to Honolulu, better bring a book – in January, it led the list for tardiness - being late 92% of the time.

It is not the intention of JetBlue or Delta to be cruel or mean – it just kind of looks that way as they seek an exemption to keep passengers on the tarmac for more than three hours, if they have to.

A bit of background: starting April 29, a new Dept. of Transportation rule goes into effect that orders airlines to let people off planes if they’ve been sitting there, going nowhere, for three hours.

It seems DOT Secretary Ray LaHood got tired of waiting around for a “passengers rights bills” and just went ahead and said, “Three hours? That’s enough!” And there are big fines for those who violate this new rule – according to the New York Times, they’ll be dinged $27,500 per passenger.

But here’s the problem: the main runway at JFK is closed for improvements for the next few months and airlines like JetBlue and Delta are scared there’ll be all kinds of delays and on-the-tarmac idling – and, record fines.

Work at JFK is already causing delays. It’s a pity the passengers might have to pay for that, with extra long waits. If your travels take you in or out of Kennedy, be sure to bring a book (Stephen King’s latest, I’m told, is 1,088 pages long, which sounds about right).